I recently learned of the French idiom "l'esprit d'escalie" -- the wit of the staircase, that glib retort thought of too late as in when leaving the party. It makes me wonder about other states of mind that may be universal or near universal but do not have simple English idioms.
I don't know that it's universal, but I suspect it is -- every now and then some little thing reminds me or I wake from a dream awash in regret for some careless thing I said (or failed to say) years ago. Or maybe some action I took or failed to take. It seems so absurd that we can be subject to storms of self-doubt and self-flagellation for things that took place sometimes many decades before.
I guess some of these events for me have the common feature that I never apologized for them -- most because didn't even realize my fault until later and I'd lost touch with whoever was affected. A few because I have not had the courage to properly admit my failings and offer a sincere apology.
Whatever the case, I sometimes wish I had a word for that. It would allow me to tell you that if you have those same feelings, you're not alone. On the other hand, maybe we're better off without a simple phrase that allows us to put those feelings in a box, because that lack of resolution may be what gives me to courage to finally offer those apologies that are owed.
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