Honest Debate

As the author in a written space like this I frame the argument, and in some ways that is unfair. Of course, comments and replies provide a measure of interaction, but it is still basically asymmetric.

Debate and discussion do not share that asymmetry, but still we often focus on being sure we are heard -- we too often try to change someone else's thinking. It is not a remarkably subtle observation, but people usually don't like to be told that the things they think are true might be incorrect.

In the most productive debates I've been part of I've been able to adopt the stance that I am completely willing to have my mind changed. That position creates an honest conversation -- where there is no ego, and all that matters is increasing wisdom. The key to good debate and to conversations that spur discovery is to create the psychological safety that minimizes ego, and to set aside the desire to be right.

People are great BS detectors. Pretending to be open to a new opinion is not enough. But what I have found is if I am open to change, the people I talk with are more likely to be, if only because of a general human tendency to mirroring. So yes, if I am truly open to change it is more likely my position will shift. But it is also more likely my conversational partner's position will shift.

Put another way, if you and I sit down to mull over or hash out a topic, I have no reason to believe it is more likely I am right than you are. My goal is for both of our views to converge on a useful, shared truth to the extent that's possible. I'm not keeping score of who had to move the most to get there. I'm only trying to model the attitudes that seem most likely to allow us to get to that shared perspective.

The struggle is to be willing to listen to others and be teachable -- to remember that I am not always right, and that there is always more to learn.

Be willing to listen to others and be teachable. You’re not right about everything… nobody is. Read more at: https://dailyinspirationalquotes.in

Be willing to listen to others and be teachable. You’re not right about everything… nobody is. Read more at: https://dailyinspirationalquotes.in