Trying to Write without Giving Offense

A week ago the anxiety I was felt following events in this country was so intense it was interfering with my work. I started a discipline of thinking and writing every day to clarify and reclaim my thoughts. It has made all the difference in the world to me.

At the same time, I wanted what I wrote to be explicitly about creating community and diminishing unnecessary strife. On the other hand, If you know me you've probably heard me say "I reject the idea we should not talk about religion and politics with friends and family. Religion and politics are about the most important things in our lives - if we cannot talk about them with those closest to us, what hope is there for our democracy?"

So the key is to learn how to speak clearly and authentically without giving offense. For what it's worth, here are a few of my guidelines:

• Get the media out of my mind for a significant period every day. I wanted to reclaim space for MY thoughts.
• Be suspicious of internet memes - they are viruses packed in humor or outrage that are designed to slip past our facility for critical thinking.
• Avoid catastrophizing. Not everything that makes me mad will lead to the end of civilization.
  
• Avoid adjectives. They tend to inflame rather than inform.
  
• Avoid categorizing. I do not believe there is any one thing that Republicans or Democrats monolithically believe, nor the left and right. In fact, I've often found terms like left and right obscure more than they reveal.
  
• Speak from my own experience. My effort to understand the world I Iive in is not binding on your viewpoint or behavior.
  
• Avoid collective pronouns like "they" (and the plural sense of "you"). As humans, we are remarkably susceptible to tribalism, and I do not want to cater to that.
  
• Avoid gender-specific pronouns. You should be free to define your own place in this world, and there is no need for me to reinforce gender stereotypes by bringing them into a conversation that belongs to all of us.

You may have noticed that the last two points reduce my set of English personal pronouns to I/me and you. But me are you are at the core of relationship and conversation, so I think that is OK.

Have a great day!